“LOVE”

I was originally going to write this article about how to attract love into your life, but Spirit reminded me that if we have not prepared ourselves and are not truly ready for love from others, then we won’t recognize it when it presents itself, or we will destroy it because we feel unworthy.

Our ability to love others and to be loved begins with our ability to love ourselves. Many of us are not prepared to receive love from others because of past hurts and disappointments that have now colored how we feel about ourselves.

For many of us we lack self-love due to circumstances that came about early in our lives, situations that we had no control over at that time. Many of us were told that we were fat, stupid and ugly… Or we were told to shut up, go away, leave me alone… Or perhaps we were not verbally told anything, but we were abandoned, neglected, and physically abused.

We then lived a life based on these untruths. Yes, untruths! In our innocence we believed the lies because they were spoken with authority by people we looked up to and admired. I have news for you… they were speaking to you from their own damaged and hurt selves. There was no truth in their words and actions.

The issue that many of us run into is that we attract what we know and this then becomes what we focus on. If you haven’t learned to love yourself, then you will attract those people into your life who will not know how to love you either, or if they do know how to love you unconditionally, it will make you so uncomfortable that you will in some way sabotage the situation, often fleeing to another situation where you experience some form of abuse that you are more familiar with. This then leads to a life of negative relationship patterns and repeating cycles.

This cycle stops now! We do not have to accept as truth what was told to us, what was taught to us, or even what was done to us!

At this moment, I’m not going to ask you to forgive the wrongs that were done to you by others, though that will come in time. For now, I am going to ask you to simply forgive yourself. Recognize that much of what has happened to you had nothing to do with you and was out of your control at the time.

Also recognize that you are now at a place where you can change this for yourself. It is time to stop searching outside of yourself for what is your Spirit-given right as a child of the Universe, unconditional love. You have the power to heal past wounds, you have the power to love the child within you and to set a new standard for how you are going to allow yourself to be treated by others.

There are many, many healing modalities that can help with changing your thoughts and perceptions about yourself and your ability to love or be loved. As we’ve discussed, our lack of self-love usually stems from feelings of unworthiness that then lead to negative life patterns and repeating cycles. Today I would like to share with you some crystals you can use to get started on your journey back to loving yourself and breaking those unhealthy patterns.

Rose quartz – a list of love stones would not be complete without Rose Quartz. Rose Quartz is often known as the ultimate Love Stone, promoting unconditional love and infinite peace. It is gentle, soothing, accepting, and, yes, loving. It helps draw off negative energy, replacing it with love. Rose Quartz helps release unexpressed emotions and heartache, teaches you how to love yourself, encourages self-forgiveness, self-acceptance, self-trust and self-worth.

Kunzite – opens the heart to the energies of love, promoting self-love and good is for self-esteem. Kunzite works with people who had to grow up too fast, restoring lost trust and innocence. Kunzite also helps clear emotional debris, heals heartache, and helps lift depression arising from emotional causes.

Chrysoberyl – a stone of new beginnings helps to break cycles, and transform negative thoughts into positive energy. Chrysoberyl brings forgiveness, peace of mind and kindness to self, increasing self-confidence and self-worth.

Larimar – this stone carries a soft and gentle vibration. It is soothing and can help you see who you really are. It is useful for alleviating guilt, removing fear and dissolving self-sabotaging behavior. Larimar can also help release oneself from unhealthy inner bonds.

Charoite – is a stone of transformation and helps overcome fear. Charoite also helps with releasing anger and resentment, helps break unwanted cycles and helps release you from past relationships. This stone is also good for analysis, seeing opportunities and puts things into perspective. Charoite facilitates living in the moment and helps us express our unconditional love.

Chrysoprase – helps you recognize patterns and the ways in which they may hinder you. This stone also helps with self-acceptance and acceptance of others, helps calm anxiety, neurotic patterns and comforts a broken heart. Cyrysoprase promotes hope and gives personal insights, is useful for forgiveness and compassion, and helps heals the inner child by releasing emotions locked in since childhood.

Sugilite – is another major love stone. Sugilite helps with anger and forgiveness, is good for mental balance and confidence, promotes self-forgiveness, encourages positive thoughts, supports overcoming conflict without compromise, and helps teach us to value our lives.

These crystals can be used in a variety of ways, including worn as jewelry or carried in a pocket, placed by the bedside or used in meditation. An example of meditating with these crystals would be to sit, holding one that you feel drawn to or one whose healing attributes speaks to you. For instance, to help you learn to simply love yourself right where you are, sit holding a Rose Quartz. Close your eyes and feel its loving energy. Without judgment, gently bring to mind your perceived flaws… the things that were told to you that are untruths… the things that have led to you feeling less-than. Look at these “flaws” and simply love them. Offer yourself the same unconditional love and acceptance you would offer to an innocent, hurting child… you are that innocent child! Offer every part of your being unconditional love.

Another example would be in releasing past relationship patterns and cycles. Pick a crystal that can assist you with this, such as Charoite. You may not be consciously aware of these patterns when you first begin, so ask for guidance to recognize these patterns. Simply sit in quiet meditation, holding the crystal. Be open to whatever comes up and be willing to learn from it and then release it. This may take time, as healing is not always spontaneous… and that’s OK! As you are shown your unhealthy relationship patterns, ask Spirit, your angels or guides to help you release these patterns and replace them with loving, healthy relationship patterns.

Above all, be gentle and honest with yourself along this journey back to self-love. Shed tears when you must, but also learn to give yourself over to joy and laughter. Embrace your shadows and bring them into the loving light of your Creator… the One who loves you for all that you are and for all that you are not!

Namaste,
DeAnna